In fact, these jokes will have you laughing so much you’ll fall out of the saddle. As he gets closer he hears the Indian saying to himself “Wagon…two gray horses…two passengers, man and woman…man driving”, The cowboy goes “Wow! The first cowboy says, “Well, I was putting out the feed, when the bull came charging at me like a train from hell. Free Stuff. Alas the drink proved too enticing for the Lone Ranger and poor Tonto was soon forgotten. From construction and environmental film to waste-management products, we have you covered. A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas and orders three beers. “. Every product—from construction sheeting to can liners—is engineered for toughness, manufactured sustainably, and available for small-batch custom orders. It’s midwinter and bitterly cold so the heroic duo enter a saloon for a warming drink. They, as ever, come with no guarantee of funniness or originality…. “Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.” — George Carlin

It’s going good clop, bad clop.
The cowboy says, “No, we just let them go barefoot.”. And son, tie the holster down on your leg.”. Ah’d be mighty grateful if’n yoo’d play ‘Achy Breaky Heart’ fur me bahfore ah hafta go.”, “Sure enough, cowboy, we can do that,” says the warden. The Florida Georgia Line. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off, and sucked the poison down in one gulp. What do you call a three legged horse? The worst job I ever had was working in a record factory making cowboy records. Get it because it has lots of funny jokes that will make you laugh.

After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, “These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.”, The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, “Si, Senor. After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asked the old cowboy, “If you ain’t gonna eat that, mind if I do?”, The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, “Nah, go ahead.”. He then angrily yells, “Which one of you fools stole my horse?”eval(ez_write_tag([[580,400],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_7',175,'0','0'])); There’s a silence as no one answers, so the cowboy yells even more angrily, “Alright, I’m gonna have one more beer, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I did in Texas! Put a brick under each hoof. He’s the one shaving you.”, A three-legged dog walks into the saloon and announces, “I’m alookin’ fer the man what shot my paw.”. It was spring in the old west.

He darn near got me!”. A Reliant Dobbin. The old cowboy came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. My existing horse was too outgoing. “Wow!” said the young gunslinger. The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his Colt Peacemaker and shot the tie off the piano player. The film didn’t just generate money and controversy, though, there are also several one-liners that continue to be oft-recited, so let’s take a look at some of the best lines from Borat. We’re fixin’ to hang Brown Paper Larry.”, The cowboy’s brow furrows. All rights reserved. Still gasping, she again shook her head no. Get it because it's faster than the guy who's running to pee. I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen. The sheriff asks him, “Why did you do that?”, The cowboy says, “I thought he was going to draw.”. “How come he’s called Brown Paper Larry?”, “Well,” says the guy, “the man always wears clothes made of brown paper. Got any more tips?”, The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. The largest collection of rude one-line jokes in the world. As she gasped and gagged, one cowboy turned to the other and said, “That little gal is havin’ a bad time. “Did I just see what I think I just saw?”, “Reckon you did, Sheriff…I got me some powerful chapped lips…”. Brown paper shirts. “Well,” thought the old rancher, “there’s the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. This cup is expensive!’” — Conan O’Brien. “Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it. The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. What weights 126 pounds and wears a Stetson? Get the best deals on Interior Cargo Nets, Trays & Liners for Isuzu Rodeo when you shop the largest online selection at The rattlesnake said, “All right, when you get back to the bunk house you’ll have all three wishes.” The cowboy turned his horse around and galloped at full speed all the way to the bunk house. Sometimes the bull wins.”. To keep warm he decides to run around his horse.

One day, he comes in and only orders two beers.

Just but the gun in it, layer it with grease!

I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. “Well, you said on this form you were bitten by a snake once. The Prozac Brown Band. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board.”. Staring back at him in the mirror was the face of Clark Gable.

He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse. Recently bought a shire horse. Free shipping on many items ... Intro-Tech Floor Mats IS-127-RT-B Custom Cargo Mat Fits 98-03 Rodeo Rodeo Sport (Fits: More than one … Funny horse jokes, dumb horse puns, and a healthy round of "horse walks into a bar" jokes that are guaranteed to cause unbridled laughs. She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a 40-foot hole where the crematorium used to be. “Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. His horse has been returned and tied to the post where he originally left it. The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, then shot a cuff link off the piano player. “Will that make me a faster gunfighter?” asked the young man. He said, “Okay, first, I’d like to have a face like Clark Gable, then, I’d like a build like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and finally, I’d like sexual equipment like this here horse I’m riding.”. The horse reared and the cowboy drew his six-gun to shoot the snake. As one cowboy’s horse went around the narrow trail, it came upon a rattlesnake warming itself in the spring sunshine. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”.
At the end of a long working day, one cowboy says to another, “You know, that new bull nearly did me in today, Pardner.”. Eventually after a few hours, a cowboy sauntered in, looked at the Lone Ranger and said, “Is that your horse outside?”, The cowboy answered, “You’ve left your Injun runnin’.”. Then one year, the IRS claimed that he was not paying proper wages to his workers and sent an agent out to interview him.

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico. What did the cowboy say when his dog left? What separates a good college football program from a great one? A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss.”, The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. A cowboy and a biker are on death row, and are due to be executed on the same day. Our high-quality plastic sheeting is renowned for its strength and sustainability. The old man looked him up and down and said, “Well, how fast are you?”, The young man drew his pistol pretty quick and before anyone knew it, then shoots the hat off of the piano player’s head!”, The old man looks over at the piano player and says to the young man, “Well, that wasn’t bad. “Hold on there, partner,” said the snake, “don’t shoot – I’m an enchanted rattlesnake, and if you don’t shoot me, I’ll give you any three wishes you want.”, The cowboy decided to take a chance. The first cowboy says, “I did! He sits at the bar, drinking a sip out of each glass in turn. The day comes, and they are brought to the gas chamber. The Lone Ranger and his faithful native American sidekick Tonto are riding the plains. “Well,” replied the rancher, “There’s my ranch hand who has been with me for about 3 years. The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. The barman says “you can’t come in here with those trainers”.

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